Captain Chaos — 2″ × 3″ Patch

Every squad has one. The guy whose stage plan is “we’ll figure it out,” whose ammo budget requires financing, and whose confidence remains completely unaffected by the results.

This is his patch.

Featuring a smug little trash panda sporting a captain’s hat and an AK, Captain Chaos lives by one simple motto: Precision by Volume. Because eventually, statistically, something’s getting hit.

Laser engraved in black on Sahara leatherette, this 2″ × 3″ patch features rounded corners and a clean, stitch-free border.

The perfect gift for your squad’s resident chaos coordinator.

If nobody comes to mind… congratulations, Captain.